Garageband Punk sponsored Spring Skiing.

High-Res: jakecast.com/helmetcast/helmetCast25.m4v

Date: The Past -> June 26, 2011
Location: Snowbird, Little Cottonwood Canyon, UT & Sugarhouse $ Theater
Featuring: Myself (Jake Kirshner), Nik Aksamit, Kyle Wehmanen & Carston Oliver
(w/ a 2 second cameo by Kenjiro Matsuo & Marcus Tofanelli)

It is said that a New York minute is only an instant.
Well, here in Utah I like to measure time on a different scale. The Salt Lake Month. Because everything moves so slow here (especially the drivers). It’s like the Shire, but without sweet birthday parties and all the hobbits are prejudiced.

And that broad, outwardly rude insult is how I just explained going a month without pouring my excess sputum into the bottomless vacuum of the internet.

Sorry about the dark intro. I have to stop falling asleep to bad VHS copies of Requiem for a Dream.

Here’s some climbing, skiing & guns to cheer you up.

Climbing
Nik does some adventure abseiling in LCC

Sweet belay stations

…2 pictures. That’s it. NEXT.

Guns (*Guns supplemented with a Jeep for liability and future alibis sake)
Nik on a over-saturated barefoot ice cream dumpster disposal mission.

A target range fit for a (dirtbag) king!

Kris demonstrates shirtless gun reloading while his brother and Marcus enjoy some…male bonding?

Marcus & I begin digging his car out with an avalanche shovel for 8-year-olds and a camping chair.

A Doctor & Math Teacher’s mandatory 12-seconds of labor before goofing off in the salt flats.

Marcus, en motion.

Misty 5. Said goofing off.

Scenery

Skiing
K(harles) Wehmanen. Throwing some big 3s and 5s.

IDNK what I was trying to do in this picture.

Kyle with some open jacket steezery.

I gts’d the s out of the b, ya’ll.

Stay tuned for my state street river float pictures when this popstand finally floods.
Jake

I would like to tell you that I have been skiing non-stop, enjoying the sun, being extremely healthy and playing basketball in the rain without getting wet, but I cannot lie to you, my audience of n, where n is the number of insomniac, schizophrenic personalities I have whose destiny it is to roam the vast unknown plane of the internet at night…

And with that dark turn, I take a somewhat lighter one. The JCDC has been on an extended nerd hold for a week or so now. With yet another semester ending and my desire to graduate before the year 2050, I have been planning out final semesters and trying to find work experience that will make me unimaginably rich with minimal effort, like double stock bond mergers and fund management embezzling.

Also, I may be trying to create a giant game of simon says with red bull cans and cutting through the heater/AC control PCB on my car, making driving into the cold, harsh Utah spring infinitely less enticing.

So in lieu of a skiing video, here are some over saturated pictures from a climbing trip into City Creek Canyon I took with Nik, the Axematic Coffee World President.

20m north of Salt Lake, 20m south of Dublin. YARR!!! Ireland.

Math major assisted erosion.

Preview of my 2012 big mountain sandal pro model, the German Tourist.

The end.

Oh? Where are the climbing pictures you ask? Well, like all real climbers we chose to leave the guidebook in the car and found a random crack Nik was prepared to pioneer by running out the middle section 30′ until his inspection of the belay station tore out 90% of the murock (that is the words mud and rock shortified, the abbreviation helps me keep this post shorter by combining the two words into one, eliminating a character and a space and allowing the user to absorb the same amount of information in a smaller area. Have I always been this efficient and kind? Yes. I have. I just wish I could teach it to you, the loyal and brilliant readers of h-t-t-p-shift-colon-slash-slash-double u-double u-double u-dot-jake-cast-dot-com, unless you came to the website by accident, in which case you are scum of the earth and a plague on all things that are good, righteous and rad).

After the murock epidemic we decided to leave until Vishnu’s Irish Mud Pirate Crack becomes dry and brittle making hex nut placement 30% more awesomr.

So we hiked out, walking through some backyards and jumping on some stretchy fabric while wearing our unused climbing harnesses.

The best part of climbing? Hidden trampolines in rich neighborhoods.

Until next time…unless you find yourself in the Cade lab today or in the week long Fast and the Furious 5 line I will be starting at the megaplex tonight.

Living life one quarter of a mile at a time,
Jake

Utah Seasons.
Winter: October 1st -> March 22nd
Spring: March 23rd
Winter: March 24th -> ???

April driving in Salt Lake City

Me jumping over trees and stuff in a hoodie, courtesy of Daryn Edmunds & Unofficial Networks (http://vimeo.com/22063241 @ 2m30s)

Moments before a prerelease binding and getting stuck.

Old photo of the axe-caster that I just found on my phone.

Jake

I just like the part where the snow hits me in the face. And ya. I did title the post that without using the David Bowie song. It’s my website and I’ll do what I want.

I call this variation on a fun tower 3 air, the Unofficial JakeCast Air. You can see a previous Unofficial JakeCast bombhole that I managed to land in due to my helmet camera deciding the world was not ready for the radness that was my first send of this thing.

Jawaz.

Hanging Bowl, the Tram Show way.

Death Chute, the Nik Axe-Attack way.

DON’T SHIFTY THE TREE. tree wins everytime.

Repeats before sweeps.

The secret to removing skiing sweat smell is Dove…blood*
Jake

*Thanks Tina Fey for writing this for my site. That was cool of you.

Last week the earth was shaken to its core by a massive magnitude mishap that was followed shortly thereafter by a tsunami of sadness…

…I am of course talking about the departure of Joshua Topolsky, Nilay Patel & Paul Miller from Engadget team and the disbanding of one of the greatest podcasts known to man. A show that has gotten me through many programming binges and bouts of lab-induced insanity.

In their honor, I followed in proper jcdc fashion with this pre-airtime proclamation on top of a odd variation of Snowbird’s Death Chute that I am dubbing, the EGP Air.

…and some other stuff

Nik goes upside down and cuckoo on his, ‘gad two, double as a single’

Escaping my filming post.

Kyle with a very standard 3 off Silver Fox’s standard air.

Funzoville Air. Awesome as long as you avoid the bushes and rocks.

Also. Sorry to anyone that may have been offended by my blunt intro. Feel free to donate to the relief effort in my name. Japan is rad. Kenjiro lives there and they make a lot of cool tech stuff, despite the fact Subaru Factory in Gunma is refusing to send me a wiring diagram in English of their kookie climate controls.

Now I gotta learn to solder in Japanese…
Jake

What?! Stifle my creative genius, I say? But alas, while my integrity remains great, my desire for money, women, fortune and fame is far greater and so I acquiesce.

Here is HelmetCast #24, re-edited with enough indie rock to make all the hipster girls swoon.

And while this video was still my creation, it has now become the second saddest thing to occur in the blogosphere this week…

Jake

Download Link: http://www.jakecast.com/helmetcast/helmetCast24.m4v

Jake

244 inches. That’s how much snow fell between 12a – 12:15a on the morning of the 20th. Equipped with enough Red Bull to power the Large Hadron Collider, I rendezvoused with Marcus, Nik and Nik’s friend from Idaho, sweet mustache Danny early Sunday morning in a LCC car lineup that would have made Walt Disney proud.

After listening to Rihanna’s, ‘S&M’ come on my radio (or iPod) 84 times, the line finally started to move and 76 hours later we were on the tram and run #1 looked so promising. Three turns after leaving the top of the tram we arrived on top of the bigger point of upper cirque’s jaws air. Visibility was about 7 millimeters, which meant perfect conditions for the U’s most magnificent math magician.

Nik launching into the Misty Mountains.

Representing charismatic chemists everywhere, Marcus refused to be outdone. He pointed the air another 10′ higher up from Nik’s starting point and sent it into the ether.

Then it all turned to shit…

I am not sure which of the rocks in the above photo Marcus annihilated on touchdown, but it was one of them. Unfortunately, the rock bit back and capital chemist, Marcus Tofanelli went down hard.

After making his way to the clinic for xrays and lollipops, Marcus claimed the flip wager war was far from over and Nik, Danny and myself headed back out for the afternoon hoping that Marcus’ injury was not as bad as it appeared to be…

He might not be saggin’ low, but I am confident Nik’s lincoln off the Paul Mitchell Moto would make K-$ proud all the way in his European vacation castle.

The earthquake you felt on Sunday definitely was not from my backslap on the p-dog chair air rebate session.

I liked the part where it hit me in the face.

I am not sure how Nik set this lincoln, or how he got out of this position, but rad.

Moods of Marmot Ridge.

More airs based on songs from musicals.

Sadly, the stoke was short lived. Further investigations into his gnarliness revealed that Marcus had done some serious damage going 340′ to rock.
From Marcus Facebook yesterday…

the latest marcus update. . . stoke down 89 %, acl’s down 1, mcl’s not good, meniscus assumed to be in poor shape, cartilage around the femur and tibia assumed damaged, tibial plateau damaged to a noticeable extent. plans . . . MRI to durther excess damage, prehab in process. surgery inevitable, visa vi fun on hold, dosey doe hopefully summer will be better for gooden times

Marcus en route to the dollar theater, fully prepared, on a happier day.

Hoping the chemistry lab has raddicapped access,
Jake

Note: These photos are from yesterday (19th of Feb.). The photos of today’s radness and sadness will be uploaded in Part 2 of this post later tonight or whenever I feel like it.

Title says it all folks. Snow so good you would not even trade it for 40-pack of mini babybel cheese wheels.

Also. Helmet-cam back in action…for the moment *knock on wood or the foam Salomon used to put in their skis*

JakeCast does not steal.

JakeCast just manufactures smiles.

All day long.

JakeCast does not wear gore-tex.

JakeCast wears cotton & flannel.

With a powder beard that makes him look like Matisyahu.

Lactose makers, use the contact link. I am open to waxing my skis with sharp cheddar.

Apples. Always a good combination with my night cheese.
Jake